To my family

This post is from me, Lacey.

Other things may change us, but we start and end with the family.
-- Anthony Brandt

If you want to do something positive for your children,
work to improve your marriage.
-- Anonymous

Military life is not exactly the easiest; I can't expect most of you to understand except maybe Donna. I spoke with a chaplain today; and I always thought the Air Force has promoted itself of being the most family oriented of the branches, and I said this to the chaplain and he chucked. He said "who told you that, because there's nothing about the military that's family oriented." He understood my plight of trying to serve a military commitment and starting a family... and I told him that's where I struggled; my moral obligation to my family and the service commitment to the military. I told him I wanted to end my military commitment. I enlisted in the military at 17 with my parents signature, I barely turned 18 before basic training, now I'm 22 and I feel my mission in life has changed.

It's not exactly easy coming into a family with 3 children; and I didn't know then how much I'd grow from it. I met Josh when I was 20; and for most this seems the age of partying and experimenting. But I've never been the partying type. I met Josh during the first semester of college; we both still find it ironic how were only one class ID off from each other. We met in PSYCH 101 class, I was late to class and took the first seat in the back of the room. I found out later he was late too. I wasn't even looking, and from my first impression of Josh he wasn't even my type. It wasn't until the next semester, when we were in another class working in a group sociology project, that I started opening up to him.

When I was younger I always told myself (and my parents) I never wanted children; I never wanted to get married, I honestly just expected myself to live with someone but never have children or marry. After meeting Josh alot of perspectives changed and my life changed very quickly, for the better. Many people look at me like I'm too young to understand marriage or even being a step parent, but I've embraced both these challenges. It's been very hard for me to overcome the obstacles of establishing a relationship with the kids, however despite what anyone says or does, I love Josh and I love his kids, and no matter what anyones says to try to tear me down or discredit me I'm here to stay and I'm here to be the best wife, mother and step-mother I can be, and that is my vow.

When I look deep within myself my priority is family; my husband coming first, because I know I can't ever be a great mom without first being a great wife. I'm very thankful for Josh and his family. I am the oldest of 3, two younger brothers who still live at home. I didn't know what it was like coming into a family with so many cousins, nieces and nephews, sister/bother/mother/father in laws- it's been an eye opener but such a joy.

Also, Breanna, Dallen and Kaeley you've truly been a blessing to me; I enjoy all the time I get to spend with you. I know ever since my move to Arizona I see you less but I try my best to come and see you during the most important of times. I know you're going through alot of life changes with the divorce of your parents and the adjustment to new homes and experiences. I love talking to you about your day; what makes you sad and what makes you happy, what your favorites things in life are and least; who you crush on one day and dislike the next. I like to know who your best friends are and your favorite subjects in school. I just want you to know I'm here to stay and you can always count on me, never feel like you're alone, there is always someone loving you and thinking about you. And just remember families aren't always biological but they can take care of you and love you just as much as the ones who are.

And lastly to Josh, this PCS has been the most difficult for us so far. I've never had to PCS before and I especially didn't how how hard it was having a family in the military. This move has not been easy for any of us. And I honestly hope this is the hardest challenge we have to face as a family (because then we'd be getting off easy). When I married you I got a whole package, nothing I regret :) I love you and the kids and I can't wait until we can expand our family. I know you're struggling right now and so am I. We have to keep hope and faith that we'll be together again soon and I know this distance is only strengthening us. I know how dedicated you are to being a father and honestly that's one of the huge reasons I fell for you, I can't ask you to be away from your kids and I want to be there with you, supporting you and them. Let's continue to think how this is helping us grow together, I love you .... the kids... and the future. I'll see you this weekend.